My close friend Ivy bought me one of those thought a day calendars for Christmas. 365 days of infinite wisdom to meditate upon and, maybe, absorb into my psyche to be a better person.
Two problems: 1, usually I see the daily thought once every few days as I tear off multiple pages to catch up. And, I've noticed the advice can be somewhat sketchy, at times. For example:
This tidbit was the advice for Jan. 8. First thing I thought was "Wow, creepy dating advice." I even sent a pic to Ivy and asked if she ascertained the same subliminal message. I mean, what's "old"? AARP membership eligibility? Retirement? My age plus 15? Who's to say. (For the record, I consider someone too old to be in my body when they have 12+ years on me).
But the more I think about it, I'm sure it is encouraging me to not be a fuddy-duddy and have gruel fed to me three times a day by a CNA. I get it. Attitude is everything and why not start a new year with a bright attitude. Well, because it's been snowy and fucking windy-ass cold. Maybe I would be more than happy to let an old person into my body if he cuddled. Just sayin.
So Jan. 8's subtext: explore and enjoy life. Live while I'm above ground.
It seems the calendar got more into its groove on Jan. 13. The advice that day, which I found on the evening of Jan. 14, was more along the lines of what I'm guessing the calendar's editors had in mind. I deduced that from the handy use of italics.
Needing is bad, the calendar says. Wanting is OK. I bet a third-world poverty-stricken child on a UNICEF commercial wouldn't agree. For them needing three squares a day is not bad. But I'm sure they aren't flipping through a calendar for a new piece of daily advice every four days.
But the statement is appropriately deep for an advice calendar. Wanting something is one thing, obsessing over it is another. I get it. I didn't need to win the $1.5 BILLION Powerball, but I sure as hell wanted to have those winning numbers. Going to work Thursday wasn't heinous because I didn't suffer because I didn't need $1.5 billion, I just wanted it. I wanted to buy a first class ticket to Bora Bora for at least a month and soak up the Pacific sun while everyone here suffered through another Wyoming winter. It didn't happen. I have moved on with my life. But back to the starving child in Africa...
Maslow came up with a hierarchy of needs, not wants. He said everyone needs certain things - air, food, water (he also put sex in the most basic category, God love him) - and once a person has those, he or she can move up the pyramid to other things, like laws or friendship or status. I'm guessing the calendar folks determined only people who didn't need anything on the lower levels of Maslow's pyramid would buy this daily advisory anyway. Meaning I (and Ivy) are beyond the basics, and should know the wisdom behind need and want.
I'm not sure I buy that my "suffering" will end if I go ahead and want vs. need. I think in some cases the two words mean the same things. I want some things. And not having them is a pain.
Take being single. I don't want to be single; I want a vibrant, amazing, loving relationship. I don't need one. In this case the desire of want is causing me to be a cranky bitch. I want a new job that pays me what I'm worth and challenges my talents and skill set. Again, my desire for this causes me to be a cranky bitch. The calendar missed the point that either I or the kiddo in the UNICEF commercials can point out:
Sometimes wanting something is the same, if not worse, than needing it. Wanting means your current needs are met and you're seeking. Seeking isn't free of suffering because I know I don't need the things I want. I just want.
Stupid calendar.
Two problems: 1, usually I see the daily thought once every few days as I tear off multiple pages to catch up. And, I've noticed the advice can be somewhat sketchy, at times. For example:
But the more I think about it, I'm sure it is encouraging me to not be a fuddy-duddy and have gruel fed to me three times a day by a CNA. I get it. Attitude is everything and why not start a new year with a bright attitude. Well, because it's been snowy and fucking windy-ass cold. Maybe I would be more than happy to let an old person into my body if he cuddled. Just sayin.
So Jan. 8's subtext: explore and enjoy life. Live while I'm above ground.
It seems the calendar got more into its groove on Jan. 13. The advice that day, which I found on the evening of Jan. 14, was more along the lines of what I'm guessing the calendar's editors had in mind. I deduced that from the handy use of italics.
But the statement is appropriately deep for an advice calendar. Wanting something is one thing, obsessing over it is another. I get it. I didn't need to win the $1.5 BILLION Powerball, but I sure as hell wanted to have those winning numbers. Going to work Thursday wasn't heinous because I didn't suffer because I didn't need $1.5 billion, I just wanted it. I wanted to buy a first class ticket to Bora Bora for at least a month and soak up the Pacific sun while everyone here suffered through another Wyoming winter. It didn't happen. I have moved on with my life. But back to the starving child in Africa...
Maslow came up with a hierarchy of needs, not wants. He said everyone needs certain things - air, food, water (he also put sex in the most basic category, God love him) - and once a person has those, he or she can move up the pyramid to other things, like laws or friendship or status. I'm guessing the calendar folks determined only people who didn't need anything on the lower levels of Maslow's pyramid would buy this daily advisory anyway. Meaning I (and Ivy) are beyond the basics, and should know the wisdom behind need and want.
I'm not sure I buy that my "suffering" will end if I go ahead and want vs. need. I think in some cases the two words mean the same things. I want some things. And not having them is a pain.
Take being single. I don't want to be single; I want a vibrant, amazing, loving relationship. I don't need one. In this case the desire of want is causing me to be a cranky bitch. I want a new job that pays me what I'm worth and challenges my talents and skill set. Again, my desire for this causes me to be a cranky bitch. The calendar missed the point that either I or the kiddo in the UNICEF commercials can point out:
Sometimes wanting something is the same, if not worse, than needing it. Wanting means your current needs are met and you're seeking. Seeking isn't free of suffering because I know I don't need the things I want. I just want.
Stupid calendar.
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