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Now what

I'm finally home for what appears to be a couple months and I don't know what to do. Well, let me rephrase - I know what to do: vacuum, clean the bathrooms/basement/kitchen, tidy up the front yard, paint the garage, reacquaint myself with the grocery store...but I don't know what to do FIRST. Hell, I'm sitting here staring at the list and instead of tackling even one of the projects, I am lolly-gagging around by typing about my lack of motivation.

I think I'm feeling whelmed. Not overly, yet, just a tad whelmed. I have been so busy I've neglected me and my life for a few months that starting to pay attention to all of that seems daunting. I'm blaming my recent vacation.

Last week I took a wonderful cruise with my niece. We spent a week cruising the Caribbean: Grand Cayman, Isla Roatan (Honduras), Belize, Cozumel and it was a much needed relief. Although I could have paid through the nose to make/take calls, I turned my cell phone off. So no cell phone, and, better yet, no blackberry for a week.

How does that play into this lack of motivation? Really, it made me slow down and realize a couple things: 1. It's OK to not be doing something 24/7 and 2. I'm not irreplaceable. It completely put my ego in check to know the world (especially at work) went out without me. My staff did an excellent job (I knew they would) and any "crisis" that popped up they handled. So, now that I'm home, I really don't feel the need to disempower them. We can be much more productive sharing more of the responsibilities and less stressed. There is no reason to work 60 or 80 hour work weeks just because I am not sharing responsibilities.

And now that I am at home, why not put No. 1 into play? There's absolutely no reason to go balls to the walls to get every chore I need to do done right now. There are dust bunnies behind my powder room toilet. Who cares if they are there for the next 2 minutes or 2 days? Seriously... And if someone happens to care they are there, then I hope they feel free to pick them up for me. I'll get to them. In due time.

I am home for the long holiday weekend and my plan includes doing all of the chores. I don't like my house to be this messy, but whether I clean it right now (and really, housework before 9 a.m. seems a sign of insanity) or in stages over the next few days, no one will know.

But like I said, I'm whelmed. Other parts of my life have been neglected, too. So why focus on the list of chores? Will I feel better knowing the dust bunny behind the toilet is gone? And, more to the point: What happens when I remove it and don't feel better?

I suppose that's when I tackle the rest of the list.

Comments

TamiJ said…
How philosophical of you. Did I spell that right?! Just hang, hug Simba and have a glass of vino. Love ya.
BarbB said…
Sounds like you are finally experiencing what I strive for constantly - I really believe we should enjoy life more, work less, and worry should be almost non-existent!

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