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...in bed

Did lunch with Dad today. We try to do lunch a couple times a month. We vary between Italian and Chinese (Mom hates both). Today I chose the chi-knee boo-fay. I was craving rice over portabello mushroom ravioli. The food was typical. Not bad. Not great.

The fortune however, that was a different matter. It sucked. I prefer fortune cookies with fortunes in them. "The man of your dreams will find you tomorrow." is much more fun - if totally full of shit - than something insipid (who uses that word on a daily basis?) that tries way too hard to be profound like "As the purse is emptied the heart is filled." What the...?!

I think fortune cookie writers should be fired if they choose to attempt profundity (I no one uses that word on a daily basis) vs. giving readers some good ol' fashioned fun. Let loose for God sake! Tell me something fun and exciting is right around the corner. It's a 20 cent cookie, no one is going to sue if Mr. Right doesn't come knocking on their door. Besides when was the last time anyone didn't read their fortune and add "...in bed" to the end of it. Do I really want to fill someone's heart when they empty their purse ...in bed? No. I'm not a whore.

Fortune cookie companies (I think today's specimen came from Illinois) should force their writers to be creative - hell, they should help them along by allowing the writers to drink in the morning, have a toddy with lunch and take a mid-afternoon martini break. Those would be some good fortunes. Much more creative and definitely more appropriate for adding "...in bed" at the end.

As I said, my fortune today stunk: "Is your attitude worth catching?" Baby, my attitude would change drastically if Mr. Right found me tomorrow ... in bed.
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Comments

Tara R said…
I agree, what's up with the lame fortunes these days? They're profound and boring. The lucky numbers on the back are more fun than the "fortune" Finally someone addresses the issue! ;)
April 27, 2009 at 10:52 AM
me said…
And, get this...the back of the fortune told me how to say "corn" because that comes in handy while traveling to China. Corn?!
April 27, 2009 at 7:41 PM
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